I Will See You Again
by birdie7272
Summary: Sometimes it takes time to realize how you feel. With Merlin never aging and Arthur constantly visiting from the dead, they luckily have all the time in the world. One-shot Merthur after Arthur's death. Prompt by: shiko1122.


**AN:** For shiko1122 with prompt to write Merthur following after Arthur's death.

* * *

Avalon was so close, but just too far away.

Arthur died.

He failed his king.

After sending yet another person across the lake, Merlin could do nothing else but simply fall. His heavy limbs dragged him to the damp grass and he curled his soaked legs into his chest. Sobs contorted his face into harsh lines until tears washed across the only parts left dry. He quaked from his cries and the harsh cold as he watched his truest friend leave him. There would only be one fire that night. He couldn't bring himself to say the words that would make another.

A part of him knew he had to leave -had to see Gaius, had to tell the kingdom, to tell Gwen- but he couldn't do it. He just kept staring out after Arthur, praying that somehow he would be sent back. That this was all a cruel joke the Gods played on him and they would soon see the error of their ways. But like the Great Dragon said, some lives have been foretold. Arthur wasn't coming back.

On the ground, left with nothing but the pain, he cruelly went over everything he could have done to prevent it from happening. Over and over he changed past decisions made and saw the outcome they could have had. Outcomes that would never come to be.

The dragon also said other things. That Arthur would come back when Albion's need was greatest. But when would that be? Would Merlin even still be alive to greet him? How would he come back? Would he even remember Merlin when he did? Would he be lost? Who would help him?

_"The story we have been a part of will live long in the minds of man." _

How long was long going to be? And why was it a story? Would no one believe the occurrences or would he have to wait so long that time would make it nothing more than a legend?

The last… the last time he… their last time together. That moment played over the questions more times than Merlin could count. Arthur was dying in his arms, telling him to never change, and saying thank you. Thank you. By the gods, Arthur couldn't have known how long Merlin wanted to hear him say that. But he would take it all back if it meant getting Arthur by his side. He long ago stopped wanting any credit. He didn't need the thank you. He needed Arthur.

Merlin just knew it in his heart; he would die before Arthur ever came back. If he ever did.

Maybe if Arthur did return, Merlin would return as well. Maybe because they had been called inseparable, two sides of the same coin, Arthur wouldn't be allowed to return alone and Merlin would be there with him. Always. Just as it should be.

What if that wasn't true? What if Arthur would return alone, left only with the stories that lived in the minds of man?

Merlin would have to leave quite the legacy for Arthur to remember him by.

Merlin sat there with his fists curled into the ground for hours upon hours. He hadn't moved much or very far, only getting water when he needed it. But he knew he had to get back eventually. He was still alive after all. Even though it wasn't fair.

He crawled to his feet and stared over the water, waiting for something to happen that he knew would not.

Arthur deserved more. At the very least, some sort of testament. Camelot would probably resurrect something –a statue perhaps- but it wouldn't do him justice. Though he knew Arthur would love a giant sculpture in his honor so everyone would remember his 'good looks', Merlin needed something specifically for him.

One tree stood tall above the rest on the line of the forest. It was sturdier and looked as though it would last another hundred years at least. Merlin placed his hand over the bark and closed his eyes as they flashed gold and his fingertips burned. He didn't know what spell he was performing, it just came so naturally. When he pulled his hand away, the smell of smoke pulling at his nose, he saw the symbol he made.

A dragon created from interconnecting lines formed a circle with its tail resting in its mouth. Inside were the curved lines that formed the symbol associated with the Druid people. Over it arched the words, _The Once and Future King_.

It was obviously carved unnaturally and almost seemed to shimmer with the sun as he moved away from it, but he wouldn't change it or hide it. He would not look at it again for a very long time.

Camelot was waiting.

Gwen had full control of the kingdom and she needed help. The two of them had such little time to grieve as they led Albion into a unified force that would bring on a time of peace between peoples of different regions and backgrounds, including those with magic. Because of this, and because he was already so close to the Camelot court, Merlin became the Court Sorcerer. He was well accepted by most. He believed that had to do with Arthur's belief in equality, something Gwen obviously took to heart. Very few people of Camelot openly disagreed with the principles carried out. Those that did had the option to leave.

Every day he tried to keep Arthur's words in mind as he created peace treaties, traveled to different lands, met with many different rulers, and created laws protecting those with magic -granting them the right to practice while maintaining their equality with those that did not. There were so many laws.

Merlin's name, both his given and Emrys, were well known across Albion. Gwen spoke highly of him and he was utilized by many. All the while he continued to practice his magic, learn all he could from all he met, and excelled. In the years to come, he would be thought of as the most powerful sorcerer in the world. In fact, it was true.

There were lulls in the work where he took time to think about Arthur. Of course Arthur was always on his mind. There wasn't a day that he didn't think about him or wonder if he was at peace or wonder when he was coming back. But sometimes he let himself miss him so much that it physically hurt and he just needed to be alone. At first he would just stay in his room, help Gaius with whatever he was working on, maybe take a walk or go help the knights. Then, after a while, Merlin felt this pull towards Avalon that he could not ignore.

Merlin packed for the journey and cleared it with Gwen before traveling by horse to the place where Arthur…...where he said goodbye. He set up a camp right near the tree where the engraving still shined. There he lit a fire and magically played with the embers as he watched the water move in the wind, the fog dipping low over the island.

Night came and Merlin thought that he should tuck in but just as he turned away something caught his attention out of the corner of his eye. For a moment he thought it was the flames he had been playing with, tricking him in the dark. Then he glanced at the place the tree stood tall. The carving shined in the light of the fire and he thought that must have been the movement he saw but then, "Merlin?"

Merlin gasped and twisted his body back as quick as he could. On the other side of his fire stood the image of Arthur looking just as alive as he ever did. He wasn't even wearing the armor he died in, just his favorite red shirt and his usual tights. Merlin shook his head and closed his eyes, thinking that the image would disappear.

"Merlin what are you doing?" Arthur laughed.

Merlin stopped shaking his head and stood as quick as he could, stumbling a bit towards the flames. Arthur was already holding out a hand to stop him from falling forward but Merlin just recoiled back from it, into the tree.

"Wha…what is….Arthur?" Arthur nodded, squinting as he tried to figure out what Merlin was up to.

"You're back?" It didn't feel right. It didn't feel like he was back. Albion was in no true trouble. "Already?"

"No."

"But…No. No, no, no. I'm imagining things."

"You are not imagining things."

"Yes, yes I am. Arthur you…you're dead!" It hurt so much to say aloud but he was in too much shock to feel the pain.

Arthur's face took on that half smile he was so used to. Gods he missed that. "Yes Merlin, I am."

"But- How- What- How?"

"Don't strain yourself Merlin," Arthur chuckled again. "I am here- well not completely here."

"So… you're a ghost?"

"No. Not really. I don't feel like a ghost."

"What do you feel like?"

"Like I'm here. Really, you are just making this more complicated than it needs to be."

"Well how can it not be complicated? You are dead."

"And I'm here."

"Right. I think I'm dreaming. Am I dreaming?"

"No."

"No?"

"No."

"So…no?"

"_Mer_lin-"

"Alright. So I'm awake, you are not a ghost, and you are standing and talking to me across the fire."

"Yes."

"Did I drink?"

"You are infuriating! I know you don't use your head all that often, but why don't you try and stop being such an idiot! For once, just open your eyes!"

The two glared at each other from across the flames -until both burst out into a fit of laughter.

"But Arthur, I don't understand."

"Neither do I. You're the sorcerer here."

"Wait, magic brought you here?"

"You brought me here Merlin."

"No I didn't."

"Yes, you did."

"Uh, no I didn't."

"Yes. I was minding my own business when I was suddenly pulled away by this force and ended up in front of you. Therefore, you did it."

"But I didn't…I didn't mean to."

"Well you did."

"Alright." Merlin shook his head again as he relaxed in the presence of his late friend. For some reason he was much more calm than he thought he should have been. The entire thing was preposterous but it seemed almost normal. It had to have been the magic. "I'm not quite sure what to say."

"I knew there was a way to shut you up." Arthur's grin only lasted a moment. "How is Camelot fairing in my absence?"

"Well, actually. Dare I say the Queen rules better than you ever did."

Arthur's smirk quickly fell into concern. "And how is she?"

"She is strong. Everyone respects her and the knights are helping."

"And you? Just sitting on your hands like normal?"

"Very funny. I've actually been appointed a position in the court."

"You? In my court? What could you possibly do? Court Jester?"

"Your lack of faith hurts me. I'm the Court Sorcerer actually."

"Court Sorcerer?"

"Magic is to be united and accepted with the rest of the kingdoms. I am to lead it away from Morgana's tainted reputation."

"I wish I was there to see that."

"I wish you were too." A heavy pause filled the air as the reality of the situation settled in. "How long can you stay?"

"I don't know."

"Are you really here though? I mean, can I-?" Merlin walked around the fire with a hand held out and Arthur held up his arm. Merlin tried to place his hand over Arthur's forearm but it passed through into thin air. Again he brought his hand up and really tried to concentrate using magic, his eyes flashing gold, but again the hand passed through.

"Whoa," Arthur whispered. "I'll never get used to that."

"I suppose having someone pass through your body would be odd."

"I meant your eyes Merlin. How is it that I've never noticed that before?"

"My stealth and cunning?"

"No that can't be right. You must have never done magic around me."

"Must have." Merlin chuckled at the joke Arthur would learn to understand.

The night rolled on and Merlin and Arthur talked continuously. Arthur was filled in on every detail about Albion since his passing and Merlin tried to question Arthur about where he was -only Arthur wouldn't answer. The best Merlin got out of him was that he was at peace. Then Arthur deflected any remaining questions by asking Merlin about his magic. He wanted to know every detail, past and present, and gave his political advice when it came to dealing with magic in the court and with other kingdoms.

It was nearing day break when Merlin had just finished telling Arthur about the prophecy predicting his return.

"So I am to come back one day? When?"

"Prophecies, knowing the future… it is very difficult." Arthur nodded in full understanding, having just heard Merlin's account of Mordred and trying to stop the inevitable. Merlin tried to apologize again, take the blame, but Arthur wouldn't let him. "It could be tomorrow, it could be a thousand years from now."

"Honestly, I hope Camelot never needs me that much."

Merlin ducked his head, unable to agree with him for completely selfish reasons. "Don't see what makes you so special anyway." He joked and Arthur chuckled dryly.

"The sun's coming up." Arthur said looking out over Avalon, Merlin nodded as he looked out over the water. "I won't be here much longer."

"I have to return to court anyway."

"Yes. It took you half a day to shine my boots. I don't see how you'll hold a court position without all the time you can get."

Merlin glared, "You have no idea."

"No, I don't. I wish I did. Will you- Are you-…Do you plan to return here?"

"I'll come as soon as I can. I mean, I am rather busy."

"Right. I just want an update. I want to make sure you aren't screwing everything up. Like usual."

"Of course Arthur."

"Merlin, I'm…I will see you again."

"Till then Arthur."

The sun reached out across the water and shone over the two of them. In the light Arthur slowly faded until there was nothing but air in his stead. Merlin took a few moments to stare at that empty space but didn't fall into a fit of sobs like he had the first time. Arthur wasn't lost to him completely.

Many months passed by and Merlin was not able to visit Arthur. First, there were the big meetings of fellow kingdoms, a few battles here and there, and then he had been kept busy by a few rebel groups that opposed the new united order -attacking Druids and other magic friendly towns. Merlin had to travel out with the knights in order to put a stop to it. The battles were quick but they were scattered and Merlin usually had to talk down the magic using folk as they were becoming more and more inclined to fight back.

Some thought he was an inspiration for having kept his magic a secret until the kingdom was accepting, helping bring the peace about. Others thought he was a coward for hiding until the King was dead. Even some rumored that he killed Arthur in order to get his way and rallied behind him as some sort of war leader.

Merlin did his best to lay the rumors to rest and reached out to as many as he could. After a very long tour around Albion he was able to return to Camelot for a rest. The rebels had been quieted and he was needed in his own kingdom.

He was able to take a few days for himself so he could travel to Avalon and spend a night. Just as before, when the sun was setting in the sky, a flash caught Merlin's eye from across the fire and Arthur appeared.

"Hello, Merlin."

"Arthur."

The talk was long winded as Merlin unloaded all that had passed since they last met. Arthur listened to Merlin's heroics in the battlefield, making fun of him at every possible chance, and gave him advice now that the rebellions were in a lull -advice that Gwen had already put into action.

"How long has it been since we last spoke?" Arthur asked when Merlin's stories were over.

"7 months. It's almost been over a year since…"

"Hmm."

"What? Has it been different for you?"

"Time doesn't pass the same where I am. I haven't been keeping track but I think it's been quicker."

"What's it like?"

"You never did finish telling me about the new knight recruits. How is Sir Percival training them?"

Merlin let his question drop and talked to Arthur about the new knights, one of which was a sorcerer. Merlin's job was to train him in magic while Percival trained him in the art of combat. Arthur was actually impressed and had Merlin demonstrate a few spells for him.

"I still can't believe you kept this from me."

"It wasn't easy. I wanted to tell you. So many times."

"I know. I understand. I remember what you said. You didn't want to burden me. I still can't help but feel you didn't trust me."

"I trust you with my life Arthur."

"And you with mine."

"Though you shouldn't have."

"We've been over this Merlin. You mustn't blame yourself."

"With everything I can do, I just couldn't save you."

"No one could save me. Yet Albion exists. Sorcery is being accepted. And Camelot is being ruled by good and strong people. You are one of them. So I don't want to hear more of this guilt. Everything has resolved and I am able to see it through your eyes. I couldn't have done it better myself."

"Somehow I doubt that."

"Well stop doubting yourself or your kingdom will doubt you. You have to be a leader now Merlin. You've always been resilient. You are strong enough for this."

"Without you…"

"You don't need me."

"But I do."

"Then I'll be here. Until you don't."

Life in Camelot continued without Arthur. Merlin hated to think of it that way but he accepted it and moved on with the rest of the kingdom that was advancing at a fast past, keeping him busy. Another year rolled by before he could visit and tell Arthur of everything that had changed. Again, Arthur wouldn't tell him anything in the world he rested and they just talked about the kingdom.

Then another year rolled around and then another. Merlin visited when he could but it usually took him a while. He realized it was around the anniversary of Arthur's death that he would most need a break from his duties to visit his late friend. Every time they met they would catch up and just sit and talk all night long. Merlin found himself waiting for the time to pass so he could show Arthur all the magic he had learned, watch him laugh at his jokes, watch the sun rise with him by his side.

Then tragedy struck.

Everyone knew Gaius as the physician so many didn't expect him to get sick. He had become weaker in his old age but no one expected him to get hit so hard. Merlin tried to use his magic to help him but nothing was working. Merlin wanted to bring him away from Camelot, to Avalon, the Isle of the Blessed, somewhere else that he could help him, but Gaius wouldn't let him. He wanted to die as nature intended.

After his funeral Merlin stepped away from the kingdom and went to Arthur.

"Merlin?" Arthur knew something was wrong as Merlin stayed huddled by the tree, not answering. There was nothing he could do but sit there and wait for him to talk. He couldn't even wrap an arm around his shoulder like he wanted to. He just had to sit and wait and watch with his hand resting over the place Merlin's arm was, slipping straight through and to the grass. Merlin turned his other hand down and placed it over that same spot, though he knew he wouldn't be able to feel him.

Most of that night was spent quiet. Merlin could only sputter out what was wrong before curling back in on his self. Merlin slept through the day and stayed the next night trying to talk to Arthur about what had happened, about watching Gaius get to the point where he couldn't get out of bed and knowing he could help him but having to listen and let him die.

Arthur helped. He always helped. Of course Merlin knew he would be upset, Arthur knew Gaius well, but he was the rock that Merlin could lean on. He only wished he could do it literally instead of pressing up against the bark of the tree.

Merlin had to leave and promised to return soon. He did, multiple times. Gwen let him take off more time because she knew how hard Gaius' death had been on him. Time moved on and so did Merlin.

He still visited Arthur often and Arthur seemed to enjoy the stories of magic and the lives of his friends and family. But not all stories were quite as positive.

"An heir?"

"Yes Arthur. She isn't quite sure what to do. She could appoint someone or have one of her own."

"I suppose that is my fault. I never left her with a son."

"It's not your fault Arthur."

"Really Merlin? I was so busy worrying about the life I had to lose that I didn't think about the lives I left behind."

"That isn't true and you know it. You died selflessly, protecting your kingdom. Protecting the people you love."

"And what do they have to show for it? I left everyone alone to clean up the mess."

"We are not alone. We have each other."

"Gwen has no king and no heir with entire kingdoms to run under a completely new paradigm. Sir Leon is left to run the knights and control all these new decrees. Rebel battles continue to rage on from all parts of Albion leaving Percival to lead an army abroad all by himself. And you…"

"What about me?"

"Merlin, you are the leader the magic era. You are the sole sorcerer holding any sort of political position. Every decision you make impacts entire civilizations."

"Thanks for that reminder. But I don't see how you being here would change that."

"I would give you advice. I would help others understand your ways. I would understand them myself. I would protect you."

"What makes you think I need protecting?"

"You've already made enemies Merlin. You will just make more."

"And I will stop them. We will work together to stop them. Me and Percival and Sir Leon and Gwen and even you. All of us. Because even though we are carrying large responsibilities, we have each other. We have the memory of you and you inspire us. You are helping us. Every day."

"But I'm not there. Not really. I can't physically help the knights in battle or help Gwen with an heir or help you."

"How could you possibly help me more than you already are?"

"I could…I don't know."

"I don't need you to hold my hand Arthur." Merlin tried to joke to lighten the mood. "You being here, coming to visit me, is more than enough."

His magic was getting stronger and stronger. Emrys was famed and many young sorcerers came to learn from him. The era of peace in Albion seemed to be stable and so Merlin took up a few students. It gave him hope and purpose and he loved sharing this part of himself with others.

In the time of peace Merlin started to get more and more worried about Arthur. He would visit when he could and Arthur would always come but Merlin couldn't help shake the nagging feeling that something was off.

"Why do you never tell me what it's like?"

"Huh?" Arthur looked across the fire in complete confusion from the topic change of the new cook's bread recipes to this.

"On the other side. Where you are. You never tell me."

"There's not much to tell."

"Not much to tell?"

"Nope."

"So just a blank nothingness is what I have to look forward to when I die? Come on Arthur. I answer every question you give me. It's been so many years. Why can't I know?"

"It's peaceful Merlin."

"So you've said. But what is it? Clouds in the sky? Fancy feasts? Wine till your heart's content?"

Arthur stared into the fire, breathing deeply for a few moments before answering, "You."

"Me?"

"It's hard to explain."

"Try."

"I remember...a lake. Kind of like this one but…And I am in fields a lot. Sometimes it looks like Camelot but I know it's not. There are a few spots that seem familiar, like I should remember them. I know a few. There is a place my father took me when I was young. We had a picnic by a wishing well and he let me throw in a coin. There are caves where Morgana and I used to play. Then there is this sort of fighting ring where I can spar. There is also a place that resembles the castle including the corridor where Gwen and I first ran into each other. It's a lot of things I know mixed with things I don't. But it is all...comforting. Peaceful, like I said."

"What about me?"

"What?"

"You said me. What do I have to do with anything?"

"Just forget it Merlin."

"No. I want to know. What do I have to do with anything?"

"You…you are just…there."

"I'm there?"

"In a way."

"Arthur, what are you talking about?"

"You're just kind of present."

"Me?"

"Just you."

"How? Am I standing next to you or-"

"I don't know. I don't remember."

"You don't remember?"

"When you bring me here, everything there is fuzzy. I can only remember pieces. As if it were a dream. When I go there, the same thing happens."

"Oh. But why am I there and –"

"So how is Roma doing with her levitation?"

Merlin spent all his time until their next visit thinking about what Arthur said. For a while he tried to understand why Arthur would have him continuously there in his afterlife, especially since he wasn't dead. He wanted to know how that worked and why and did some research. He found the usual questions about time after death, all leading to more questions. The one thing it seemed to rotate on was that after death people sought comfort, familiarity, and love. Merlin didn't know why Arthur had him there instead of someone like Gwen but it wasn't the most pressing question. Merlin was more concerned about what he was doing to Arthur by pulling him back to this life. Was it Merlin's magic that was pulling him away from the peace he was meant to feel or was Arthur not telling him everything? Any way he figured it he knew he needed to say something.

"I'm being selfish." Merlin said to Arthur another night. "I visit you when I can but I don't tell anyone else. I never bring Gwen here. I never bring any of the knights. I don't tell anyone. I didn't even tell Gaius. I just keep you to myself. Pulling you away from your peace so I can dump my problems on you."

"That's not true, Merlin."

"I know you said not to bring anyone and we agreed on that but don't you think it is selfish of me that I was happy about that? You have died. None of this should be affecting you but I keep ripping you back. I should just leave you in peace and move on with my life."

"I don't feel that way."

"Well I do. Like you said, time doesn't even register for you. You are prophesied to come back. If I leave you be you won't even realize how long you were gone."

"I don't want that."

"How can you possibly say that? You remember stories I told you months ago like it were yesterday. You bring all this back with you. You can't think that is right. It wasn't meant to be this way."

"Merlin, I don't mind. I like hearing about all that my kingdom has become. All that you have become. I want to know."

"You say that now. In nature the dead aren't meant to know. They're meant to move on. My magic is disrupting the laws of nature."

"Isn't that what magic is for?"

"No, Arthur! Magic is meant to help people. It isn't meant to help yourself."

After that night Merlin had to make a tough decision. He knew he was being selfish and would always be stuck on Arthur if he never let him be. He made the physical effort to stay away.

For years he left Camelot and traveled Albion, teaching young sorcerers as he went. The only thing that brought him back was the birth of Gwen's baby. The new heir to the Pendragon throne.

"Prince Henry Arthur Pendragon." Arthur smiled as he repeated the name out loud. "Who is the father?"

"Gwen met him a few years ago. He was a traveler, a trader. He was selling the fabrics in the market on one of her walks through town. His name is George Valspara but they thought the child should have only your name. They are very happy together."

"I'm glad she has someone. Wait, a few years ago? The last time we spoke you said she was still deciding about the heir. I thought she was adopting. When did that change?"

"Well...a few years ago."

"Merlin, when did we last speak?"

"6 years ago."

"6 years? Merlin…how old are you?"

"What kind of a question is that?"

"How long has it been since I died?"

"It will be 14 years this year."

"You don't look any older."

"Neither do you."

"But I'm dead."

"And I'm magic." Merlin sighed and looked over Arthur's shoulder at the lake. "I'll be around for a while. They are building a school and I would like to stay around for that before I travel again."

"Merlin, I hope you aren't avoiding me. I meant what I said. I don't mind your visits."

"I know Arthur."

Merlin had a hard time staying away from Arthur while in Camelot but he managed to dive into his teachings and forget. Never would he forget Arthur but he would forget the temptation of finding him. Many flocked to Camelot because of his teachings and so did many other teachers, making the school bigger and bigger with more and more classes. He even taught a physician class on top of his magic.

The years passed by and he let Arthur in peace. He even started to teach the young Pendragon Prince a few things when he was old enough. Time passed on even more and pretty soon Henry was old enough to go hunting.

How the hunting party found Arthur's tree he would never figure out. He didn't think they were going anywhere close to Avalon.

The knights didn't know what it was, but they knew it was something mysterious and anything mysterious was mentioned to Merlin -as he was the supposed expert. They mentioned the carving of a dragon that glimmered with the sun on a tree that couldn't be scratched with a blade. He was sent to investigate.

"15 years."

"That would make it 29 since I died."

"So you were listening. For once."

"Merlin, you aren't aging."

"I know."

"Why? Is it magic?"

"None that I control. I aged into adulthood…then stopped."

"When I died. Why?"

"The Great Dragon was cryptic in many things he said. Some of which I didn't bother telling you. One thing he said was that you and I are two sides of the same coin."

"What does that mean?"

"I don't know but I believe since you have stopped aging, I have."

"That's ridiculous Merlin. Call the dragon. Get him here and have him explain."

"The last I saw him he said he was near death. I don't wish to bother him over something so minimal."

"Minimal? You don't age. Doesn't that mean….won't you…"

"Yes."

"What…how…"

"I suppose I'll just live."

"How can you? What will you tell people?"

"They already believe I use magic, those that don't know me. Those that do, know not to ask. Other than Gwen. She knows."

Gwen had actually brought it up a few years ago.

"Merlin?" She called from across the round table.

"Yes?"

"May I speak with you in private?" He nodded and followed her down a corridor and into a blocked off room. "Merlin, you are over 50 years old."

"Yes, Gwen."

"You look as you did in your twenties. And I don't believe it is by choice." Merlin shook his head, not sure he could add anything to that. She took up his hands in hers and looked him in the eyes to say, "I'm so sorry," before pulling him into a tight hug and refusing to let him go.

Life moved on around Merlin. First Leon passed and Percival took over as head knight. Merlin's mother also ended up passing in that time. He never heard from the Great Dragon again. Then Gwen started to age. Her son grew up fast and learned all he could as Gwen grew weaker. She died an old woman, famed for a spirit that never quit. Her husband died soon after of a broken heart, so they said.

Merlin hated bringing Arthur only the bad news but he felt he deserved to know. He tried to come with good news as well, such as any new treaties made, advances with magic either he or his students made, or even just that the new King kept the round table. Still, he only visited every few years, distancing himself more and more.

Then the war came. Outsiders used the régime change of Camelot and bordering kingdoms to strike and everything went to hell.

Merlin missed Arthur every day but put him out of his mind with his work and teachings. When it came to war, Merlin couldn't suppress that feeling anymore. He wanted Arthur back with all his might.

The battles grew more in number and longer and soon magic became involved. Each side used it to try and attack and more resentment built. Merlin couldn't take it.

"Arthur. I can't do this."

"You've been through war before Merlin."

"Not without you. I need you here. Camelot needs you. Why aren't you back?"

"I don't know."

That war lasted four years. The kingdoms went through some separations but overall there was another era of peace. That was the first war. There would be many after that.

The years slowed as time continued. Merlin was left with no one else. All he had were his students and his kingdom. King Henry Arthur was less accepting of his help and advice and Merlin only did his job as Court Sorcerer. He helped with the knights, Percival the only one left from his past. But even he was quite old.

Arthur became more and more of a temptation. So, for a very long time, he decided to travel in search of helping others. It was over twenty years before the next war started and he traveled back to check on Arthur. It seemed this war wasn't the war for Arthur's return either.

Merlin wanted to help in the fight but it wasn't due to the oppression of magic. This war was simply territorial. He wanted to stop it and his reputation was powerful enough to have an impact. Dividing the armies with a mile deep crack in the ground was also enough to stop them. The peace didn't last long though. On and off the war continued for ten years.

"If not war than what Arthur? How else could Camelot need you?"

"I don't know Merlin. I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault Arthur. I just wish you were here."

"Earthquakes from your feet? You don't seem to need me."

"And yet I keep coming back. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. I want you to come back."

"How are you?"

"I'm alright. How are you?"

"You know how I am."

"No. You told me how the kingdom is. That's all you ever tell me. How are you?"

"You want to know?"

"I've always wanted to know."

"Funny way of showing it."

"Just because I've never asked outright doesn't mean I've never asked."

"I'm alright."

"No you're not."

Merlin sighed heavy as he joined Arthur in leaning against the tree. "No I'm not. Everyone is gone. Percival died. My students have grown. I only have you and I don't actually have you."

"You have me."

"Not in the way I want."

Merlin took some time in Camelot during the quiet years. He visited Arthur more often, talking about regular things, anything but the war.

"What about a boat?"

"Well," Arthur tilted his head. "I can't imagine it would be worse than riding a horse."

"But riding a horse for days at a time? You don't think you'd get sick?"

"I'm a man, Merlin."

"Sure you are."

"Idiot."

"Prat."

It was comfortable and easy.

"How old are you now Merlin?"

"163. Why?"

"Why haven't you married?" Merlin turned his head in the grass to look at the man resting by his side.

"I don't know. I guess I've never met anyone."

"Not a single woman?"

"No."

"What about that one from long ago? The one who ended up in the lake. The Druid girl."

"She died Arthur."

"I know. I was thinking since your magic has grown that maybe she could return to you in some way."

"Like you?"

"Well not exactly like me."

"No, Arthur. I don't think it's the same."

"Could you not do it again?"

"I'm not sure I know how I did it the first time. It was instinctual. I don't really want to either. I may have loved her when I was young. She saw and accepted me for what I was. But, she's been long gone. I haven't even thought of her. She deserves rest. Like you."

Arthur avoided the argument by continuing, "And no one else has…you know…"

"No."

More talks took place and in that time Merlin distanced himself from Camelot. Only entering to stop a battle from ensuing.

"What about the young sorcerers?"

"They are being taught by my pupils."

"Do you miss it?"

"Sometimes. Sometimes I like to pretend I'm normal."

"You could never be normal."

"Thanks."

"That isn't a bad thing Merlin. It makes you special."

"I'm a bit too special."

"I don't think so."

After a few more decades Merlin was called back to war. This war was directly between those with magic and the oppressive Empire growing out of the south east. Albion fought to protect their right to magical freedom but in the end they lost. Not even Merlin's might, the power of Emrys, could defeat the Empire.

It was during this war that Merlin truly learned of his immortal power.

Other sorcerers were manipulated into suppressing Merlin's magic until a sword could be run through his belly. The pain was all he could feel before he passed out, expecting to never wake up again. He was partially relieved, even dreaming of seeing Arthur again on the other side. Instead he woke up hours later when the battle was over, left alone with the dead, with only a scar to remember the incident by. He would gain many more scars in the years to come and learn the many pains of numerous deaths.

Those who did not surrender to the Empire and give up their magic were excommunicated. Merlin was hunted specifically for his defiance and because of his immortality. He was a legend that needed to be locked away. The Empire thought that if they could overcome the mysterious Emrys –that which many did not believe existed- they would have power over all. They also wanted to see if they could extract his immortality and use it for themselves.

A former student was paid for the information regarding his aging spell and they found out who he was even when in disguise. The soldiers were closing in.

With a final goodbye to Arthur he took those that wished to escape and smuggled them away from the Empire's reach.

"I have to go."

"I know."

"Arthur I…I don't know when- I won't return until this ban has passed. Until I am no longer hunted. It could be a long time."

"It will feel like no time at all."

"For you. For me….I'm going to miss you."

"I will see you again."

Over two hundred years passed. Merlin helped as many people as he could, taking everyone he could, including those that weren't magical. The Empire fluctuated over the decades until one too many civil wars destroyed it completely.

In those years magic had been suppressed. When Merlin returned to Camelot he had no followers to lead. Magic was allowed but barely anyone practiced.

"Merlin."

"Arthur." Merlin smiled ear to ear. "You have no idea how good it is to see you."

"How old are you now Merlin?"

"Hold on." Merlin closed his eyes as he did the math in his head. "392."

"You don't look a day over 200."

"Shut up, Arthur."

Camelot was still standing but Merlin didn't feel as though he had a place. He built his own home near Avalon using magic -bound up with plenty of spells so no one would stumble across it by accident.

He didn't visit Arthur every day, though he could have. He wanted Arthur to have his time of peace. Even if it didn't seem fair.

"When? When, Arthur? Your seconds are my years. If you are to return why must I stay here? Why do I have to live my life like this? Why can't I disappear until your return?! Who is to say that you will even need me when you return? Maybe you will return and I will disappear. Maybe you won't return at all!"

"I don't have the answers!"

"No one does! I'm alone here!"

"You have me!"

"You're dead!"

"Merlin, you can still talk to me. Tell me what's going on."

"I can't keep disturbing you like this."

"And I keep telling you, you can. I'll always be here for you. If you let me. I will. I am loyal to those loyal to me."

It wasn't the first or last time they had this argument.

Merlin stayed for a bit but would always end up traveling. He would help whoever he could, train whoever wanted his help in magic, and fight for the oppressed. He spent his time in his fair share of wars and battles across the globe. With the technological innovations it was easier to travel and easier to learn but it also made war easier.

Still, Merlin always came back to Arthur. He couldn't always justify it but he didn't always want to.

"What are you wearing?!"

"What? It's the fashion."

"What is that on your head?!"

"It's a top hat. What? You don't like it?"

"Oh no, it's very…very charming Merlin."

"Alright stop laughing. I'm taking it off."

"What year could that possibly be the fashion for?"

"1863."

"That's a long time. Have you…how have you been?"

"I'm old Arthur."

"You've been old."

Merlin chuckled. "When I traveled last I heard a story. It was about you. King Arthur and the Round Table."

"They have made stories about us before."

"They made you old."

"Me? Old?"

"Well, older. I was much older."

"As old as you are now?"

"No. The elder version of myself. When I do the aging spell."

"The one you tricked me with."

"Yes. That one."

"Does it bother you?"

"I knew the story would change, but did it have to change so much?"

Merlin traveled again but this time something spectacular happened. He met someone. It was completely by accident, in London. He was simply looking at the new books in his favorite shop when he literally ran into Edward.

Edward was the new shop boy and the first thing he said to Merlin was, "How much of a clumsy idiot do you have to be?!"

Merlin called him a prat and that led to another argument that would be followed by another and then another. Soon they were inseparable. They did everything together and Merlin finally had a friend. Well, Merlin had plenty of friends before. Such as his students or the knights or the families and people he met on his travels. He didn't really get attached though. He wouldn't want to, knowing that he would outlive everyone he met. Arthur was the only one that would follow him in his age, and that was very complicated. Something about Edward made him break that habit.

"Then he tried to get me to carry him home!"

"You are such a pushover Merlin. Of course you did it."

"No. I dropped him right in the mud."

"I would have brought you right down with me."

"That was what he did actually."

"Oh. Well. Well deserved."

"You know, I think you'd like him."

"I'm sure I would. I'm glad you found someone, Merlin."

A few more years passed by. Edward and Merlin grew closer and he even brought him back to Avalon. He didn't bring him to Arthur of course, just to his home, to show him where he lived.

"You brought him here?"

"Well not here, here. He doesn't know I'm a sorcerer."

"Are you going to tell him?"

"I don't know. He is a good friend."

"But how would that conversation go?" Arthur put on a pathetic impression of Merlin, "Eddy, by the way I'm over 600 years old and could make a crater in the earth the size of London with a snap of my fingers."

"Eddy?"

"He seems like an Eddy."

"He hates Eddy. And how do you know how big London is?"

"You made it sound big."

"Well I just think you would like him if you met him. He reminds me of you."

"Well I don't want to meet him."

"Oh." Merlin scoffed, "Okay."

"You just met this guy Merlin."

"Two years ago."

"And how much time is that for someone like you? Why would you want to explain me?"

"I just thought…Actually, I don't know."

"I don't know either."

"I should get back to him."

"Do that. I'm not going anywhere."

Merlin stomped off until he was past the tree line and in his home. Edward wasn't where he left him, on the couch sleeping. Merlin decided not to worry about it right away and walked past his library and into his bedroom. That's where Edward was hiding, under the covers on his bed.

"Ed. Get out."

"I don't think so, Merlin."

"Come on." Merlin pulled the sheets off him but he refused to move, his arm slumped over his eyes. "Get up."

"Make me." Edward pulled Merlin down and chuckled as Merlin tried to fight him, but he was always bigger and Merlin always refused to use magic around him -at least that he would ever see or notice.

Merlin ended up splayed under Edward's body, as per usual. This time though Edward didn't shove his face and make fun of him for being a weakling. This time his face stayed close until there wasn't any more space left to hover.

Merlin hadn't kissed anyone in centuries but he remembered how to do it well enough. All that pent up tension made it reallyeasy not to care how good he was. Then that kiss led to more and Merlin woke in a haze of memories.

Edward didn't go anywhere. Not like he expected. And that made things complicated.

It lasted a few years and overall, Merlin was happy. But nothing could stop Edward from getting into a pub brawl. This one ended worse than most others and Merlin wasn't there to help him. He was actually just on the other side of town, fixing them a place to stay for the night. When he didn't return, Merlin used his magic to find him in an alley, already gone.

Merlin went back to Avalon but didn't see Arthur. He didn't think he could handle having to retell the events that took place. He wanted to be alone, cut off, back to the way he lived all those centuries.

Arthur brought up his loneliness, his never taking a wife, more than once. Merlin always said he never found anyone. It wasn't as though he didn't make friends. But he wasn't looking for love. There wasn't room for it in his life.

"So how's Eddy then?"

"He's…he's gone."

"I'm sorry Merlin."

"So am I."

"I'm sure he was a great man."

"He was. I loved him very much."

Time moved on and with the turn of the century Edward became a happy memory for Merlin but he didn't look for love again. On an account Merlin was giving Arthur of a different trip to London, his name was brought up.

"I wish you could have met him."

"I don't know if we would have gotten along. If he was as much of me as you say."

"Yeah you are hard to get along with."

"Hey-"

"But you're not exactly alike. You're just…well a lot alike."

"I was curious Merlin. When you said you loved him…did he love you back?"

"I don't know."

"I think he did."

"I do have a very loveable face."

"Oh shut up, Merlin."

It was the twentieth century when technology really started to boom. Merlin found himself entranced in using it and finding ways to meld it with his magic. He was always looking for ways to improve.

Unfortunately, with the technology came a decreasing number of sorcerers. He had noticed the decline of magic in his years already. He found less and less people he could teach on his travels all due to oppression from political entities or religion or simply because of a lack of knowledge. But it became very apparent in the 1900s. It was very rare for him to sense magic anymore and he had plenty of time on his hands to look.

There had been many wars between empires, civilizations, and countries that Merlin stayed out of. He would help as he could but he didn't want to fight. He wanted to stop the fighting. Then World War II came around. If there was ever a time Camelot needed Arthur it had to have been with the threat of nuclear warheads.

But no.

The war ended without Arthur and the technological era moved on faster than ever.

"What is with your hair?!"

"It's called a Mohawk."

"No! No, no, no, no! It's worse than the hat. You look ridiculous!"

Cameras and phones and computers were all created, made smaller and smaller with time. Merlin would always find a way to make them better.

"And that is called a mobile phone?"

"Yeah. I can call people from it. But I also made it so I can track magic."

"You can track magic?"

"Sort of. I use the network the mobile is connected to and the spell I have kind of bounces back to me. I have yet to find a way to pinpoint it. Right now it's just spouting back at me from across the globe."

"You have too much time on your hands Merlin."

Eventually the mobile phone turned into the smart phone and Merlin could basically do whatever he wanted.

"I've found magic Arthur."

"Where?"

"Everywhere! Thank the heavens for technology. This phone can show me exactly where they are in the world. Google Maps is amazing!"

"Good. Are you going to find them?"

"Yeah."

"What are you going to do?"

"No idea. I supposed I could lead with the fact that I'm an over 800 years old sorcerer."

"Yes, that won't scare them off at all."

Merlin spent a few years traveling and finding the few sorcerers he could. He brought the girls and boys back to Avalon with him and started to teach them the craft while making sure they would be out of the way of judgmental eyes from the modern era. He gave them the true history of everything and of magic. It was especially necessary when they all laughed at his name and he needed to explain that he was indeed the very same Merlin that they read about in fantasy books.

Arthur was plenty supportive whenever he visited and even contemplated meeting a few of the kids.

"And Samantha is getting so much better with her fire. I'm gaining faith that she won't burn the forest down."

"What do you plan to do with the kids after you teach them all you know?"

"Well I haven't had students for so long. I'm just learning with them I guess."

"I can see that. What are those you're wearing again?"

"What? These?"

"Yeah."

"Jeans."

"They look…well actually they aren't too bad."

One night Arthur threw a question at him that he hadn't thought about in a long time.

"Do you think I'll ever actually come back? Or is this it?"

"Did you want more than this Arthur?"

"I didn't use to think so but I see you Merlin and … I want to be with you. Live along side you. I do."

"What about on the other side?"

"You're still there but it isn't the same. I can't touch you. Much like here. I can't reach through to anything. I'm stuck."

"Did I make you stuck?"

"No. I don't think so."

"Arthur…I don't think you're coming back. Camelot has been through the toughest of times and you haven't returned. "

"But then what about you? Why do you live on?"

"I've stopped asking that question."

Arthur watched the flames for a bit and Merlin lost himself in the pause before Arthur's voice made him jump. "Come back tomorrow. I need to know if I need to give Simon a scolding if he tries to prank the girls again."

"Sure, Arthur."

Merlin did go back and he and Arthur continued to see each other often. He was around a lot since his students lived with him. He would only go out to find more students if they were close.

"What about the stars?"

"I only know a few constellations. I never really dove into astronomy. Though there is an app on my phone…hang on."

"You and that blasted phone."

"Sorry."

"It looks new."

"2010 model."

"I can't believe how much time has passed."

"For you I'd imagine it went by very fast."

"It was slower than you may think. You were always on my mind."

"Disrupting your peace."

"That's not what I meant. You were waiting for my return but so was I. There are things I wanted to be there for. There are things I wanted to say. I wanted to…It's just not the same. What about over there? What does your phone say about that star?"

There were more than a few moments like that since admitting neither believed the prophecy would fulfill. They both said things about wanting it to be different before moving on quick. They tried to stay away from the topic.

Then there was the night Merlin had something too important to say.

He was in his home, in the library with his students, when they all suddenly stopped talking. Everyone turned towards him and they all started to panic.

"Something's changing."

"What do you mean Merlin?" Arthur watched as Merlin paced and kicked up dirt in front of the fire.

"The energy…in the air. I can feel it. The kids can feel it. Can't you feel it?"

"You are making no sense."

"Something magic. I've never felt it before. It's….what could it be?"

"Explain it to me."

"It's like…I remember the power of calling on the Great Dragon. It flowed through me. I just spurt out all this power and I feel that power now. It's swimming all around."

"What does that mean?"

"Something is coming. Or is here. I don't know. I'm not sure I like this Arthur."

"Something is making _you_ nervous? Merlin, it's alright. You can handle it. You just feel a bit off is all."

"No. It's more than that."

"Merlin-"

"No! Listen to me! Something is going on and it is powerful. I'm not in control of this!"

Just as Merlin was screaming the water in Avalon started to churn. He jumped as he watched the waves roll high and the clouds roll in, turning the sky black as they covered the moon and stars. Off in the distance there was a gleam of metal breaking through the surface of the water in all the turmoil. Both he and Arthur turned to stare at it.

"Merlin. You should run."

Arthur walked towards the water and Merlin stood taller, pulling all the magic he had to his fingertips. A loud crack sounded in the air and both snapped their heads up to the sky where a great beast started to fly down. Merlin recoiled as the griffin swooped in front of them and reared its head.

"Not a dragon!"

Merlin threw his magic at the beast. It landed. The griffin flew into the trees and slumped on the ground. He hadn't seen a creature like that since the time of magic. During the Empire's Great War they had killed all magical creatures they came into contact with and most had died out within a couple centuries. He turned to see where it came from when another beast came at him with big dark eyes, charging too fast for him to even throw up his hands.

Arthur was in front of him in a flash with something shining in his hands. The second griffin recoiled from the movement and Merlin had time to throw that creature as well. He turned and used his magic on both of them, sending them flying back out into the brewing storm.

"What the hell was that?!" Merlin screamed as he twisted around and faced the island. The tower he had come to memorize was twisted, its silhouette shrouded in a hazy cover of darkness.

The clouds broke open and rain started to pour as lighting and thunder cracked. The magic in the air grew stronger as Merlin searched the sky. Something was changing.

"Merlin." Arthur called from behind and he twisted around on the spot. Arthur was by the tree that held the carving Merlin first made, but it was all wrong. The tree had been hit by the lightening and it was cracked, breaking apart the engraving. On top of that Arthur looked different. He was in his full armor, Excalibur by his side.

"Arthur?"

"Merlin, I have something to say!" Arthur yelled out above the noise of the storm.

"How are you still here Arthur?" Merlin ran closer as the rain soaked through his t-shirt and flattened his hair.

"I don't know what's going on and I don't really care at the moment. I've been with you for years, Merlin. Almost an entire millennia. It's taken me so long...far too long. You've been so alone and I couldn't tell you because you wouldn't believe me or it would be too hard. We could only see each other in limited ways and it would only be more painful. What if I hadn't been able to return one day? So I kept it quiet. You took on more responsibility and you were so strong. I tried to see you to be happy. With others but...I couldn't possibly do what you did. I am so proud of you."

"Arthur why are you talking like this?"

"Because Merlin, I learned not to leave things for the death bed. I never said it before. You deserve to know. And now, I can show you."

Arthur strode the two stride gap between them, wrapped Merlin's face in his hands, and pulled him forward. Merlin stumbled, always the klutz, until he felt Arthur on his mouth. Merlin's heart leapt and his eyes popped open in shock. But then he smiled. He smiled so hard and so wide he swore tears were springing to his eyes but the rain washed any proof of that away.

He grabbed the back of Arthur's head and threw an arm around his bulky armor, pulling him as close as he could, closing his eyes and opening his lips. Never could he have even dreamed of this moment. He was so sure it would never happen, he never dared to think it. He never...but...but now he was. He was actually there, standing and holding his King Arthur, in the rain, in the year 2014, after he died so many centuries ago. Kissing. He never thought it remotely possible and he was never so happy to be wrong.

Arthur grabbed him tighter, running his hands over the ridiculous garments Merlin had on and actually physically feeling something for the first time since he passed on. Everything came in a huge rush as all the emotions in the spectrum returned and he closed more space with the sorcerer in his arms.

Both forgot the storm, the magic in the air, the griffins, the prophecy, the threat of danger, the impossible, and just gave in to each other.

Merlin's mouth moved fast and hard and even Arthur found it a hard pace to keep up with. But with the rain beating down and both being alive they _both_ needed air so there had to be a moment to breathe.

"Arthur?" Merlin almost felt like he had to ask, to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

Arthur smiled down at him. "I'm never going to leave you Merlin. Never again. You aren't going to be alone anymore. You'll always have someone who loves you."

"You?"

"Yes."

"Me?"

"Yes you idiot."

"But-"

"Now come on." Arthur bent down and picked up his sword using his other hand to grab Merlin's before gesturing towards the sky and the island. "We have a kingdom to save."


End file.
